A Triptych on My Queerness
[I] Comin in (tuh) one sissy body,
in duh beginning/ it was’n a sure ting:
Muh auntie still does tell duh story/
She say/ I grow up like a plant/
wil’/
stretchin’
‘ery which way
always
movin’
toward light
not just any light
like one dat direct traffics
or duh light-walls
of muh childhood room
yellow like Long Island girts .
I was runin’/
for muh own light
rushin’/ one ramshackle rhythm
turnin’ muh body
into duh first lap on Junkanoo.
It was a ting/
vision it/ jus’ so/
all muh queerness
bus’ right out
runin tru’ duh road.
From den/
e’rry time
I hear music
I pitch up/
ready tuh run wil’
[II] From the back of my mom’s Honda,
I could remember the lights
on the street, dancing just for me.
The querness used to fall out of me
I couldn’t get it out quick enough
This is why I never should have decided to like man.
That’s what I used to say
before I learned
how to love/ This body,
that loves (other) me(n).
This was long before I
decided to bleach
the colour from-out my hair
and let it spring back
cherry-petals crownin
brownin’ soil to acceptance
Back before I knew
my obsession
with the son of
my mother's best friend
was a crush.
I used to fall
in love
with all the boys then
dancing without caring who saw.
[III]
Even after all these years
I still scared to say these words in public,
still caustous
to let Gay spilt my teeth open.
they thought I was growing into some strange queer creature,
some unknown creation. Even I didn’t know
what I was becoming
but I grew
grown up
and up
into a
yellow-red
of
poinciana
royal.