Dark Coffee
Photo by 4TH FINGERSTUDIOS from Pexels
‘’Let me get two brownies and a birthday milkshake please.” Smiling politely at the Barista, Sadie Whader pushed a strand of her hair out of her face as she awaited her favorite snack. Her big brown eyes roamed round the spaced out café. She admired how the dark blue walls blended well with the black walls and clay bricks. The familiar smell of coffee being brewed stained the building. “Here you go Miss. One birthday milkshake and two brownies. That’s thirteen hundred dollars.” Sadie fished in her purse for the money needed. She smiled kindly, collected her order, left the café and walked around the corner to her apartment.
Two girls Sadie’s age walked in front of her, one was as skinny as a pointer broom and the other was the size of a stack of three pointer brooms. The girls laughed loudly, swaying their hips side to side in their two sizes too small skinny jeans and off shoulder crop tops. ‘’I wonder what it would be like to have a friend to do things like this with.” Sadie smiled softly at the idea of a friend her age as she entered the apartment complex. She imagined that her friend would be light skinned. After all her mother had said about her being the darkest family member, why wouldn’t she? “Dark skin people like you means poverty. You too dark Sadie. I wish you would come out nice and light skin or at least mixed like your sisters them. Look at you!! I can never believe your father is a white man.” Sadie’s smile faded at the memories of her mother pulling and tugging at her hair when she was younger. She would say, “I gonna cut all this damn hair off ya head Sadie. Shut the hell up and let me comb out this godforsaken hair. Why you couldn’t be born with nice hair like your sisters them, I will never know.”
The walk up to her apartment seemed shorter than it had in weeks. Sadie opened the door and was instantly greeted by Peter Pan, her cat. His black and white body threaded softly behind her as she entered the kitchen to refill his empty saucer with cold milk. Peter purred at her feet in appreciation and gladly went to lap his milk. Grabbing her brownies and milkshake, the girl headed to the couch to watch television. The ringing of her phone catches Sadie off guard. She groaned as she marched to her purse on the kitchen island and softly said “Hello.” “Sadie, you haven’t forgotten family reunion this year have you? Guests arriving already you know.”, Sadie sighed silently, “No I haven’t forgotten. I actually planned to not attend this year.” Biting her lip Sadie closed her eyes at her mother’s outburst, “Why not? Look I ain’t got time for you and this charade. Not today. Your grandma on her way to pick you up. It will take her half hour to get to you. Pack and be ready when she get there. And don’t keep her waiting.” The dial tone followed those words and Sadie slid onto the floor letting out the many tears she had been trying not to shed.
Gripping her head, she pulled a strand of her natural braids out, before screaming in pain. Shaking violently Sadie tried to control her breathing then got up to go pack. She pulled the remainder of hair into a ponytail then dried her eyes. Blinking, she pulled a suitcase out, stuffing it with items she would need.
An hour passed and her thoughts streamed back to the first day she had started pulling her hair out. Sadie called after her older sisters as she stood where their mother told them to stay. ‘’Oh shut up your whining Sadie.” Bella shouted, “You know mom will believe us over you. You’re the youngest one here.” Sadie wiped her nose with her handkerchief as her sisters continued to rave. “Bella lets go talk to Tony.” Anna gripped Bella’s hand dragging her over to where Tony sat. Five minutes hadn’t passed before her mother started shouting for her sisters. Anna and Bella who heard her, dashed over to Sadie, making her fall as they bumped into her. “Here girls. Hold these bags and--- Sadie!?” Fearfully Sadie looked up at her mother’s angry face. “What you doing on the floor Sadie?” Sadie stood up, her long pigtails swinging as she looked down at her shoes. “I ask you a question. Why you on the floor after I tell you to stand here?”, her mother stood in front of her, hands on her hips. Sadie stuttered, “I-I was—I fel—.” SMACK! Hot tears sprang from her eyes and her mother gripped her chin roughly, making her look up at her, “You stuttering now? I told you to stand here didn’t I? Your sisters can do it and you can’t?” Sadie cried harder as her mother’s long nail dug into the flesh of her chin. “You wait till we get home.” Sadie’s mother and sister’s walked ahead of her as she slowly trailed behind.
At home, Sadie’s mother grabbed the comb and brush and called her. Shaking she walked over to her and sat on the floor between her legs. “Sadie….”, gripping her daughter’s hair she combed through, pulling and tugging at the knots in her hair. “Sadie you make me so mad. You skin too dark. You see this?” Sticking her hand in Sadie’s face for her to see she continued, “This is the color you supposed to get. A nice brown skin. Nice light brown skin. That’s what you supposed to get. Why you so black!?”, another tug of her hair, “Why? Black means poverty and light skin means wealth. You are nothing but a poor little unwanted child and I HATE you.” Snip. “Your hair should be straighter.” Loud sobs erupted from Sadie’s lips as a strand of her hair falls into her lap. “Get out of my sight. And if I see your black behind on the floor again I will leave you right there.” Sadie ran up to her room slamming the door. She stripped out of her clothes and went to her shower. Grabbing a loofa, she scrubbed her skin hard that night, for two hours before she slid onto the floor crying. Her skin burnt by the time she got out and she stood in front of the mirror in her room and yanked a strand of her hair out. “I HATE YOU!” The glass of her mirror shattered to pieces as she pulled her hand back.
The sound of a knock on her door pulled Sadie out of her thoughts. Her eyes were red and puffy from all the crying she had been doing, but she quickly wiped them then grabbed her suitcase and purse. “Peter.” She squatted down to her cat. “Be good for me ok?” Sadie stood up and turned off her lights. “Hi Grandma.”