I, Atlas

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I am Atlas and the burden of the world is my own. Suffocating under the weight of continents, the whisper of dreams, hopes and prayers that fill the air. I breathe in sorrows and exhale fear. The rhythm of my heart is heavy and overbearing, a constant reminder of who I am and what I will and will not be.  It is keeping time, but I am not listening. Anxiety drips from every cell of my body, I feel every suffering with such clarity. Why? Even my bones are weary of this burden... are we forsaken? Long forgotten? Dwelling in the dreams of Gods, living in the aftermath of far away troubles? Oh no oh no choruses its way through my veins and the thought of release, of giving up, is tantalising. Stuck between yesterday, tomorrow and today drawing the souls of the dead into my heart with each new breath. It is too much isn't it? For one person to bear? I see how many are tempted by an early curtain call, it is too much, much too much... I'm stuck, and my senses are numbed by what seems like an ever rising tide whose surface is the glass in which I see the world. How do we navigate through this blurred window of loss? Where do I begin in trying to understand what it means, why it was done? Oh no oh no, these words echoing like a thousand shattering pieces of glass. By being Atlas have I tainted my perception of the world. Are these angles refracted off course, their true nature off centre? Am I blinded by disillusion, staring out of a lens that is out of focus? I whisper my fears hoping that someone is listening, but worrying these words are just breaths of hot air rising up and losing its way amongst the stars.  Somewhere along the line I stumbled and lost my grip on faith and now my fingertips barely touch its warmth. And yet I cannot succumb. Submerged as I am in this ocean of loss I cannot accept this. Trapped as I am, how can I let that which I cannot control overpower me. I don't want to believe humanity is lost, that I am lost. That those I've lost are now only figments of dreams.  I will not turn life into a living nightmare, I don't want to drown in the fear of making mistakes. Humanity sighs…... murmuring names I can’t quite hear. All praying for the same thing. Maybe the world will surprise us. And as I begin to let go I inhale the first gasps of hope. I breathe and see as if for the first time. Change is coming in this wake of tragedy. I hear hope’s promises in the wind in a flurry of #'s. Maybe all is not so unforgiving? Maybe I, Atlas can put down the weight of the world and be just human?